21 Tahun Tanpanya; Ia Tumbuh Sendiri

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Semasa pertumbuhannya tanpanya ia sempat beberapa kali kehilangan arah; menerka-nerka apa yang cocok dan pas untuknya, menemukan tempat baru, menemukan orang-orang baru yang hidup dengan dan tanpa luka.

Beberapa kali ia ingin menyerah; karena seberat itu hidup menjadi dewasa tanpa dia. Menerka luka-lukanya sendirian tanpa pertolongan siapapun. Menyembuhkan lukanya sendirian tanpa mereka tahu ia sedang terluka.

Beberapa kali ia kehilangan orang-orang di sekitarnya, yang ia kasihi, sama seperti ia menyayanginya namun dia pergi bahkan sebelum ia benar-benar tahu dan tumbuh dengan baik dan benar. 

Belum tahu dunia seperti apa dan belum tahu manusia yang di dalamnya seperti apa. Dia sudah pamit, undur diri terlebih dahulu.

Kalau ada luka yang lebih perih, maka kepergianya adalah salah satu sebabnya menjadi manusia yang penuh luka; hidupnya tanpa dia benar-benar payah dan parah. 

Ia terbentur, terbentur, terbentur setiap harinya; tak sanggup ia mendekap lukanya ini seorang diri. Hingga terkadang ia ingin menyudahi kehidupan yang rasanya berat amat sangat.

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